Not The Target Market


Smart Tags to the Rescue!

Last night, once again, I was hit over the head by how uncool and hopeless I am. How lacking in vision, how 20th century, how mismatched for modern life.

Paging through a travel magazine I read about a “must have” travel accessory: a package containing a Bluetooth enabled smart tag that you put on your carryon and three smaller “taglets” that you attach to the essentials you want in that bag. Wallet, keys and phone were the suggested essentials. And then once you download the app and pair the tag with the taglets, you can check and see if everything (or at least your three tagleted items) are aboard by pushing the smart tag on your tote. (more…)

Honey for the Ears

Every day I check the news and every day ads pass before my eyes or over my ears and I think “Boy, I am just about the most Not The Target Market that anyone could be,” and then the next day comes with its news and ads and I find am even morer not the target. And it’s always louder than the day before.  I don’t know if this is to make everyone feel included (you know how you always shout at people who don’t speak your language) or if it’s just to bludgeon us all to death so we stop protesting.  I am reminded here of the Dorothy Sayers novel The Nine Tailors in which the villain is (accidently) murdered (spoiler alert) by being locked into a bell tower while a peal is being rung.  He is overwhelmed by the sound and dies with face contorted in horror. (more…)

De-Dogging the House

Helvetica after a busy day herding her family

My guest dog has mastered the art of sproinging her hair into the air so that her black hairs embed themselves in my white sweater, and her white hairs cling for dear life to my black trousers.  Even now, two days after she has been repatriated home, I am still picking off dog hair. (more…)

In Search of some Christmas Goose (Fat)

Roasted potatoes better than Elena’s simply don’t exist.  Elena is The Daughter’s British mother-in-law.  Her potatoes are the gold standard.  This year, since we would not be in England and lucky enough to eat hers, I thought I would try to re-produce them for the Stateside family Christmas dinner. 


Bittersweet: A Parable

Our woods are small and began the year terribly overgrown with brush, pokeweed, bittersweet, raspberries and a number of dead trees. The little ones called it “The Forest” in a wide-eyed way, as if expecting to meet Red Riding Hood’s wolf behind one of the larger trees along the path. And really, who could blame them? When even I started to peer cautiously around the pokeweed and in back of the brush before heading down the path to dump a barrow of clippings on the compost pile, it was apparent we needed to start on a tidying-up project. We began it in the late winter and while The Hunter took care of the dead trees, I attacked the bittersweet. Seven months later, this appears to be a project that will last out my lifetime. (more…)

Mais où sont les neiges d’antan?*

A few days ago I was re-reading Angela Thirkell’s The Brandons. For pure escapism into a lovely cloud cuckoo-land, Angela Thirkell can’t be beat. Her novels take place in the fictional English county of Barsetshire, which is where Anthony Trollope set most of his books. Thirkell took Trollope’s Victorian characters and wrote about their descendants in the 1930s through the 1960s.

 I read the following and I laughed out loud. Delia Brandon, about 20 years old, is speaking at a tea party that includes her mother, her [male] cousin Hillary (about 24 years old) and the vicar, Mr. Miller. (more…)

Tomatoes and Cucumbers

In the spring and summer, The Hunter turns into The Farmer. At the moment we are drowning in tomatoes. This is not by any means a bad thing, but two people can’t possibly eat them all, no matter how creative I get. One day last week at lunch, I wasn’t very creative at all and served the orange, yellow and red cherry tomatoes, halved and heaped up in a bowl. (more…)

Revisiting my Past

I wrote this back in April, and then got interrupted, or perhaps overwhelmed with my “to do” list, and never posted it. In cleaning up my desk, I came across the draft and thought I would put it up as a start to “un-neglecting” the blog. Whether it will stay un-neglected is anyone’s guess.

Originally, I thought this story began with me rolling over in bed, opening my eyes, and saying to the man next to me – the man, by the way, I had promised to love, honor and cherish though all manner of things – “I want to rip your face off.” (more…)

School Shootings and Loneliness

Listening to the school kids who walked out of class to protest gun violence, or the kids who marched on the Boston Statehouse to demand more gun control, I was struck by several thoughts. One was that it’s wonderful to be passionate and idealistic and want to change the world at a global level. Another was that doing something loudly on a grand scale always feels good. You sense you are doing something important. (more…)

O Summer! Where Art Thou?

The ground is white. The trees are white. The sky is white. None of this is surprising as we’ve had three nor’easters in 10 days. Looking out, you would be perfectly reasonable in concluding it was the middle of January rather than the middle of March. (more…)